A House Divided
by mattXmello
Summary: Matt and Mello, the world's best assassins have always felt more than friendship for each other, but could never admit it because of the dangerous jobs they carried. Mello's contract expires and is a free agent. Will Matt take a chance? Or will their chance for love be cut short by an unexpected bullet? MxM Rated M for a reason!
1. Chapter 1: Broken

**A House Divided**

Chapter One: Broken

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard Mello say behind me. I whipped around, effectively splattering chocolate batter everywhere.

"Making brownies…" I said meekly, knowing I was caught.

"Obviously, but why?" he asked, walking over to me. He dipped his finger into the batter and licked it off. I fumbled for an answer.

"Well," I started, trying not to focus on the way his tongue caressed his finger. "We met exactly a year ago today…"

"Hm," was all he responded, dipping his finger into the batter again. I caught his wrist as it made its way towards Mello's mouth. I leaned forward and enveloped the tip of his finger in my mouth, licking the chocolate clean.

"You're contaminating my batter," I said lamely, as if that justified what I just did. I turned my back to him so he couldn't see the blush taking over my face. I'm not completely sure what his reaction was anyway because I couldn't even bring myself to look him in eyes after a stunt like that. There was a long silence, though. I would have thought that he had left, but I could feel his presence behind me. I awkwardly stirred the already-mixed chocolate batter until he finally cleared his throat and spoke.

"So, a yeah huh?" he said casually. I nodded as I poured the batter into a pan and slid it into the oven. "You kept track?"

"Well, it's not every day that I meet someone like you, Mells," I said off-handedly. Mello snorted as if it were the most insane thing he had ever heard.

"Right!" he said sarcastically, hoisting himself up on the counter. I walked over to him and wrapped him in a hug, never mind the fact that I was between his legs.

"I'm serious, Mells. You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend too, Matty," he whispered quietly as he hugged me back. We stayed like that for a while.

It was pretty obvious that we both had feelings for each other that was more than friendship, but neither of us would ever admit it out loud or do anything about it. It was complicated-being the world's best assassins, I mean. It's hard to get close to someone without them getting hurt. Mello and I have been partners in crime since we were both assigned the same mission by two separate mafia bosses. When I got to the base, I was outnumbered and so was he. We decided that it would be a lot easier to attack together, so we did and we've been best friends since.

We live in a two-bedroom apartment now and we have been for a little over eight months. Most days are quiet unless one of us has a mission. We hardly ever do missions together anymore because we don't want some angry mafia boss targeting the other to hurt one of us. We can't any of the mafia's or gangs know that we work together…which is tough.

"Matt," Mello whispered. I looked up to meet his gaze. He gave me a short smile before pressing his lips to mine. But before I could even respond, he was away from my face with a blush on his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. I shook my head.

"I'm not," I murmured right before I brought his mouth to mine once more. He tasted like chocolate. Mello responded quickly, tangling his fingers in my hair. He was at an advantage because the counter he was sitting on made him taller than me. I gave all the love and passion that had been built up into that kiss. Before I could deepen the kiss even further, he pulled back. His cheeks were flushed as he and he tried to avoid my eye contact.

"Matt," he said forcefully. "Matt!" he said again, but louder this time. I felt myself suffocate as he plugged my nose.

I woke with a start, finding Mello straddling me with his hand over my mouth and nose. He unplugged my nose as I glared at him.

"Oh good, you're up," he said casually.

"What the hell are you doing, Mells?" I grumbled through his hand. I was only slightly upset that he had interrupted my dream seeing as how we was now currently on top of me in my bed...

"Do you know what today is?" he asked eagerly, avoiding the question. I would have asked him my question again if it weren't for the fact that I was completely shocked that he had remembered the anniversary of the first day we met.

"You remembered?" I asked in a daze, still remember my dream. I wanted nothing more than for that to come true. Maybe today would be the right day to tell him how I really feel.

"Of course! It's not every day that your assassin contract expires!" he said joyously. He shook my shoulders happily and leapt off my bed. My face fell. He hadn't remembered after all. "C'mon, get dressed!"

"Mello!" I snapped as he started throwing clothes onto my bed. He stopped mid-throw and gave me a look that could killed. No one—and I mean, NO ONE—snapped at Mello…not even me. I ignored the look and continued with, "Does anything else come to mind for the date today?" I asked through my teeth.

"What are you talking about?" he said impatiently, making his way to the door. I sighed, throwing my blankets off of myself.

"Just forget it. It's obviously not important to you." I got up and shut the door on his confused face and locked it.

"Matt! What the hell?!" I heard him yell through the door. I ignored him pounding on my door until I heard a gunshot. I looked up in time to see a doorknob coming flying at my face and dodged it at the last second. Mello kicked in the door with a furious look on his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" we both yelled at the same time—though I'm sure mine was more justified. I mean, he just _shot_ my door open. He walked straight up to me and pointed his gun at my head.

"Go ahead," I said, taking a step forward so the gun came into contact with my skin.

"Just tell me what the hell is going on!" he snapped, lowering his gun. "Your pissy mood is ruining a special day for me."

"God! You are the most self-centered person I know! You're so selfish that you didn't even thank me for the brownies I left on the counter for you!"

"You didn't even give me a chance!" he yelled back. "What are they even for anyway? You know it's not my birthday."

"Figure it out yourself, you selfish bastard," I retorted. I grabbed a handful of my clothes stuffed them into my bag. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff later." I put my shoes on and shoved past Mello as I made my way to the half-blown off door.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" he yelled. I shook my head in anger as I placed my hand on the door, ready to open it. I heard another gunshot as I felt my goggles fly from my face and shatter against the wall. The immediate pain I felt was unbearable. Seeing my goggles in ruins almost ruined me. I stopped short and sank to the floor next to them.

Mello had given me those goggles on the first day that we had met. The mission may have seemed as though it was really the first day we met, but we had met each other way before that. When we were kids, our mothers were best friends. My mom had dragged me out of bed that morning to take me to the birthday party of a kid I had never met. She handed me a wrapped present when we got there and kindly instructed me to give it to a little blonde boy who was building a sand castle in the sand box. Mello opened them and exclaimed about how cool they were and then looked at me with a sad look on his face. He ran up to his mom and asked her something and then ran back. He handed the goggles to me, asking me if I would be his best friend…and I've had them since, wearing them every day.

Honestly, the only reason we hadn't blown each other to pieces at the mission is because he recognize the goggles and I recognized those bright blue eyes and bright yellow hair. And now the goggles laid on the ground broken into a thousand pieces.

My eyes stung as I gingerly picked up the black frames. Pieces of orange lenses fell from their original place. I heard a distant strangled cry, not realizing it was me until after the fact.

"Get out," I snarled at Mello. He didn't move. I looked up to glare at him only to see him just as bent out of shape as I was.

"Matty…" he started.

"I said get the hell out, Mello!" I yelled back. Mello walked up to me and dropped down next to me. Tears were starting to force their way into my eyes as I stared at the broken sentiment.

"Matt, I'm so sorry…" he whispered, wrapping his arm around me. I shrugged it off hatefully.

"Do you have any idea what these mean to me, Mello?! Or are you too selfish to get that?"

"Selfish?" he replied angrily. "I'm pretty sure I gave you those in the first place!"

"Just leave!" I shouted back.

"No!"

"Fine," I said. I placed the frames back down on the ground, taking one last, sad look at them and grabbed my bag off the bed.

"Matty, don't!" was all I heard as I ran out of our apartment.

As soon as I exited the building, I fished out my pack and lit a cigarette. I took a long drag and it automatically cooled my down by about ten degrees. I didn't even make it halfway through the parking lot before I heard Mello burst out of the building's door. I heard him yell after me a couple times before I finally decided to stop and turn to face him.

"What do you want, Mello?" I asked impatiently, taking another long drag of my cigarette. He caught his breath for a second before answering.

"Here," he said as he handed me his rosary. I blinked in shock. I had given him that on my birthday to pay him back for the goggles. "Take it. Please."

He was serious…absolutely serious. He was willing to give me his most prized possession just to make me feel better.

"Mells—" I started to object, but he interrupted me.

"It's been a year since the mission—a year since we reunited. I wouldn't forget about that for the world. I had the whole day planned out and I was going to take you to the place that we took over. They turned the building into a pizzeria and I know how much you love your pizza. I could care less about my contract expiring. That was just a decoy to get you out of the house and surprise you with the real reason…"

I blinked at all the information that Mello had just thrown at me. So many feelings rushed through me. Aggravation, guilt, happiness…love…

"The brownies were great," he mumbled as he slipped the rosary over my head. I looked down at it through foggy eyes. I gently took the cross in my hand and examined it.

"I'm not going to take this back. I gave it to you and it was a gift." I quickly took off the rosary and gently slipped it back over his head, where it belonged. Mello reached up and held my arms where they were around his neck. My breath caught, remembering my dream. Then he said two words that almost made me pass out.

"Kiss me," he whispered. I looked down, my cheek instantly red. Mello took a brave step forward, pressing our bodies together. He let go of the grip on my wrist and secured his arms around my waist.

"Kiss you?" I repeated. He nodded and brought his face closer to mine. I took a short, nervous breath and closed the gap between us and quickly pressed our lips together.

Mello's grip tightened around my waist as I ran my fingers through his soft, yellow hair. The kiss was more than I had ever expected it to be. His lips were softer and his taste was sweeter than any dream I could ever make up on my own. But before I knew it, it was over and Mello's face was flushed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against my cheek. "I don't know what I—"

"Mells, don't ever be sorry for that," I tried to say, but I couldn't hear my own voice over the sound of my heart. It must have come out right because Mello's grip tightened on me for a quick second before he pulled away.

"Let's go back inside," he suggested as he stomped out my forgotten cigarette. I followed him back to our apartment building in a daze.

I had just kissed Mello, and he kissed me back…in real life. I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. I was smiling like a goofy idiot and I knew it but I couldn't stop, even as he turned around to look at my with a horrified expression on his face. Everything started to move in slow motion as I saw his eyes fill with tears. My vision become blurry as I felt my knees forcefully come into contact with the ground. I took one more look at Mello before I felt my body fall to the side and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2: Lost

**A House Divided**

Chapter Two: Lost

All I could hear was the distant calling of my name. I could feel a lot of people around but I couldn't seem to open my eyes for a while.

When I finally could open my eyes, I couldn't see Mello anymore and everything was moving too fast for me to comprehend.

"Matt!" I heard Mello say. I could hear the tears in his voice. I tried to move my eyes to look in the direction of his voice but they didn't seem to be working properly. I saw the yellow blur of his hair and then everything went black again.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I woke up on a stiff mattress and to a constant, steady beeping and I knew it wasn't my phone or my computer or any video game I owned.

"Mello," I tried to choke out, but nothing left my mouth. I felt a cold hand make contact with my wrist for a short minute and then disappear. I forced my eyes open only to have them greeted by bright florescent lighting, so I quickly snapped them shut.

"Matty, can you hear me?" Mello's voice said close to me. A hand brushed against my cheek and I took a guess that it was his. I wanted to see his face so badly. My eyes tried to open again, slowly this time.

"Mello," I whispered gratefully as I saw his angelic face.

"Oh Matt!" he sobbed. "I was so worried about you!"

"Yeah," I laughed nervously. "Sorry for passing out on you…"

"What? Are you kidding me? I would have done the same thing if I just got nailed by a sniper," he responded. "Don't be sorry!"

"What…what the—" I stopped short, finally taking in my surroundings. The annoying beeping was a heart monitor and the stiff mattress was a hospital bed and the cold hands were the nurses checking my IV's. I was…shot?

"Matt, do you remember anything? You were shot but luckily no one is as good at assassinating as we are and they just grazed your stomach. No puncture wounds, thank God."

"But…why?" was all that came out of my mouth.

"It was Duke. He had one of his goons try and take you out. They found out about us living and working together and thought we were too powerful—which we are," he explained quickly while the nurse stepped out of the room.

"It's not bad, is it?" I said, looking down at my lower half, though I couldn't wiggle my toes for the life of me.

"No, Matty. They gave you some drugs for the pain. You'll still breathe, walk, and live the same," Mello reassured me.

"Oh thank God!" I breathed. I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Mello leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. His fingers brushed against my cheek as his blue eyes met mine. I felt pinned to my mattress. The intensity of his gaze was unbearable and pleasant at the same time. My thoughts flashed to the kiss we shared right before everything went dark.

"I got you something," he murmured finally, breaking the awkward tension. I felt something press into my hand but I didn't want to look away from Mello. Reluctantly, I looked down at the plastic in my hand.

My eyes landed on my goggles…fixed…good as new. I turned them in my hands I examined them. I could tell they were the same frames but the lenses were different.

"How—"

"I went to EVERY store within a sixty mile radius until I found orange lenses and place that would fix them for me!" he huffed, making his hair dance on his forehead. I smiled at his fake irritation and wanted to kiss him right then and there.

"Mello, you didn't have to do that," I choked out. My nose started to sting and my eyes started to water. Dammit. This guy was going to make me cry in the middle of the hospital. Stupid emotions…

"Yes I did," he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But…when did you get this done?" He motioned to the engraving on the inside of the frames.

"After my first mission when I was fourteen…I had earned more than enough money to get it done."

"Forever," he read. My eyes closed at the way the word sounded coming from his mouth, smoothly rolling off his tongue. It gave me shivers to think of him saying to me someday…

"Yeah, I knew I would remember you forever, even if we didn't meet again for the rest of our lives…" I said lamely. I think he knew that I was half-lying because he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Matt—"

"Thank you," interrupted quickly. "For the goggles. You have no idea how much that means to me." Mello responded with a smile.

"I missed you…" I heard him say quietly as I looked at my goggles.

"How long was I out?" I wondered.

"A week!" he grumbled, obviously exasperated at the longevity of my induced coma.

"Oh I'm sorry, Mello…"

"Don't be sorry for getting shot," he said, shaking my shoulders playfully. I caught his wrists in my hands like he did the first time we had kissed. I heard his breath catch, though it might have been mine, come to think of it. The pause, the silence, the looks we shared…was this normal? Was it supposed to be like this? Cautious and hesitant?

"Kiss me," I quoted him from a week ago. A blush exploded on his cheeks as he leaned forward. Our noses touched and both of our eyes started to flutter in anticipation. I taste chocolate on his breath already and I hadn't even kissed him yet.

"Kiss you?" he quoted back with a small smile. I nodded at him and before he could respond I closed the gap between our lips with a soft moan. How was it possible to miss something that you had only had once? I guess once is all it really took for me to miss the taste and feel of his lips.

This kiss was different than the first. It was hungry and desperate, like we weren't close enough and we could never be close enough. We grabbed at each other's hair and caressed each other's faces. Once again, I was about to deepen the kiss when Mello pulled away with an awkward blush on his cheeks. Dammit, he as to stop doing that.

"I have to stop doing that," he echoed. I blinked a couple times, seriously contemplating if he could read my mind.

"Then stop pulling away and keep kissing me," I said quietly as I tried to bring his face back to mine. He pulled away gently with a small smile.

"No, I have to stop kissing you like that…" Mello voiced barely above a whisper. My heart sank. And when I say 'sank', I mean plummeted through my chest, through the mattress, and onto the floor. It was like my worst nightmare. It was like a dream I never wanted to have…how could this be happening?

Mello sat back in his seat with a pained look on his face. I reached out to him and this time he didn't pull away. I gently pulled his head onto my now empty chest and smoothed his hair. Curse those stupid hospital chairs! If only there weren't any and Mello would be forced to share the bed with me…oh darn.

"I just feel so lost, Matt…" I heard Mello say into my hospital gown. "I feel like the shooting is my fault. I wasn't careful enough the past few weeks when I planning our big day out. They must have found out when I started buying things and acting weird. I should have known that I was being watched, especially with my contract expiring."

"Mello, stop. This wasn't your fault. It was mine too. I'm the one who went out and bought brownie ingredients and giant chocolate bar. If that's not suspicious behavior, I don't know what is. Being close to me won't be put me in anymore danger than being away from me."

Mello scoffed. "You know that's a lie. The closer we are to each other, the more people can use us against each other to basically do whatever they want! I mean, I know I'd go to my death for you…" he added the last part quietly, but I still heard it. My heart resurrected itself back into my chest because I could feel it beating faster and harder than before….not to mention the stupid heart monitor beeping like crazy. Mello smiled at the machine and gave me a look, which I cooly dodged by examining my goggles once again as if I was fascinated by them all over again.

"I would do…anything for you…also…" I awkwardly got out of my mouth. God, why was I so bad at this? How can I be so awkward around someone I've been living with for the last eight months?

There was a throat being cleared at the entrance to my room. Mello quickly removed his head from my chest and sat up straight in his chair.

"Shit," we both said, knowing we were in trouble. Stupid adults and their awful timing.

"Good to see you too, boys," Light said as his sauntered into the room. We both waited expectantly for L to be close behind him but he was alone…for now.

"Light!" Mello said pleasantly. "What a…_nice_ surprise."

"You're lucky L didn't just see you two. You know how much he…_disapproves_ of relationships," Light lectured. Was that a hint of bitterness in his tone? Maybe a little resentment, even? I didn't need to be the world's greatest detective to see how much Light wanted to be with L. I assumed that Mello came to the same conclusion because we both shared a look when Light turned his back to look at the framed motivational poster on the wall.

"So…" I said. "What brings you to New York?"

"Well," Light's bored tone answered. "L found out about your little adventures and is, well, furious. He demands that you pack up as soon as you're released from here and come live with us at headquarters where you will be put into protective custody."

Light said these words as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He made it sound like we were just supposed to follow orders like we didn't have a life in New York. Because we were…because it was L and what L says, goes.

"So, where to?" Mello said, sharing another glance at me. Not California, not California, not California.

"California," he answered. We both dropped our heads. "But only for a week. We will obviously be relocating to a less popular place. Oklahoma, maybe? Or Utah. I hear Utah is nice."

Mello and I were about to object to the whole California thing when Light's phone rang. He quickly answered it. Light just listened and then hung up…which could only mean one thing. It was L.

"Change of plans. Michigan it is," he said unenthusiastically. "Tonight. Your release papers will be here shortly and there will be a car waiting for you downstairs by the front door. Get dressed with clothes that will be sent in to you, Matt. And Mello, try to keep your temper in check. We don't need a scene leaving the hospital, do we?" Mello shook his head like a child being scolded by his mother. "Good. Your belongings are already on their way to Michigan so don't think about running. I will see you in Michigan, boys." Light made his way out of the room only to come back three seconds later. "Oh and drop the 'love bird' thing when you get there. L has been especially crabby." And with that, he was gone.

Mello and I let out a long, heavy sigh together. This was going to be quite interesting.


	3. Chapter 3: Friends

**A House Divided**

Chapter Three: Friends

"God, I fucking hate snow!" Mello grumbled as his combat boots hiked through the stubborn sludge. "Stupid fucking Michigan and it's stupid fucking snow."

"Mells, c'mon. Let's not start it out like this. We might not even be staying for that long," I tried to soothe. But you know Mello and his freaking temper…so he just continued.

"Stupid Light and his stupid visit. Stupid L and his stupid power! Stupid cabin and its stupid secluded-ness."

"Seriously though, please just try to have an open mind. This could be good for us, you know? No more assassins. No more mobs or gangs or mafias. We're free…in a sense…" I realized how weak my argument was but it managed to quiet Mello for the time being. As we trekked through the snow, the cabin came into sight at the top of the hill.

"Oh thank God! We're finally here!" Mello rejoiced, picking up his pace. "You'd think that L could afford a fucking dog sled to bring us up here, but nooooo!"

I smiled at Mello. Even if his temper got the best of him most times and he pointed a gun at my face more often than not, I still loved…I still really liked being around him. Shut up. I know what I was about to say.

"Ah, you made it," Light said as he greeted us at the door. Mello was about to rip him a new one about the hike up here but I clapped my hand on his shoulder as I spoke for him.

"Yeah, it was quite the adventure, especially with all this snow," I said, paraphrasing what Mello was thinking. Okay maybe changing the message altogether…

"Here, come inside. I'll show you your room."

"Room?" we both said at same time. Mello gave me an awkward glance and looked away quickly.

"Yeah, it's a small cabin. Four rooms. One for me, L, Watari, and you two. But luckily there are two new bathrooms. L had them added to your room when he decided you'd be joining us," Light explained in his usual I'm-too-good-for-everyone voice. He led us down a hall to our room and opened the door for us.

"Wow…" I said, eyeing the huge bed that Mello and I would be sharing for the next who knows how long…

"Why don't you and L just share a room?" Mello grumbled. Light blushed, but didn't dignify it with an answer. Instead he asked something else.

"Do you not feel comfortable sleeping in the same room as Matt? I thought it would be easy, seeing as you have been sharing an apartment for the last eight months."

"With _separate rooms_…" Mello emphasized. I looked at Mello with a hurt look I'm my face. Where the hell was this coming from? Was he really all that uncomfortable with sharing this room with me? Mello caught my eye and quickly entered the room. "Well, I guess we're just going to have to make it work."

"Yeah…" I agreed quietly, entering the room myself. Light sighed at our behavior and shut the door behind him as he walked away.

"Looks like all my stuff is on this side," Mello pointed out, obviously avoiding eye contact.

"What the fuck, Mello?" I almost yelled at him, but I knew better. I wasn't going to do that twice in the same month. Instead it came out in a soft plea for an explanation.

"Here we go," he mumbled, knowing that I was hurt and was going to bring up his behavior.

"You know what? Never mind," was all I said before I started to unpack my clothes and put them in the dresser next to my suitcases. I heard Mello stop working behind me. He was obviously taken aback by my response but didn't say anything.

I grabbed some dry clothes from my suitcase and entered the bathroom to my right. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror. I could see the hurt on my face and I hated it. What happened to the trained assassin? What happened to showing no emotion for anyone? I splashed some cold water on my face and rubbed out the lines on my forehead.

Taking a deep breath, I turned on the shower and started undressing. Mello was right; snow wasn't one of my favorite things either. It made everything wet. It was like rain, except tougher to walk and drive in. When I felt as though the water was warm enough, I stepped in and let the hot water wash away my hurt.

I knocked on L's room door. There was a shuffling of his feet on the carpet and it only took him a short second to answer the door.

"Mail," he greeted. Or at least I think it was a greeting…

"L," I countered quietly. His face remained emotionless.

"I assumed you would be straight to bed seeing as how you had a late flight, not to mention the trudge up here in the thick snow."

"Actually, I wanted to know if I could talk to you…" I said meekly. There was something about L that intimidated everyone. He was just so…critical. He turned and walked back into his room with his hands in his pockets. I assumed that was my cue to follow him…

"I am 90% positive this is either about your childish games in the mafias or your childish feelings for Mihael," he said as he sat down at his desk with his knees up to his chest. I rubbed my forehead as I tried not to get frustrated at him for not knowing what was insulting and what wasn't.

"It's about my work as an assassin," I said finally. He nodded as his onyx eyes bored into my soul. "I know that you weren't too happy with it when you found out but you have to understand my reasoning for—"

"I am aware of your reasoning and Mihael's reasoning. I brought you here to help you get your mind straight and for you to stop getting shot. You're like a brother to me and I don't want you dead," he bluntly confided in me. It was a sweet gesture…I mean, for it being L anyway.

"As for Mello—"

"I assume you're wondering how I know about your feelings for him, as well as his feelings for you. Well, I'm not stupid. It would have to take a really blind, unintelligent person to not see the way you two look at each other and talk to each other."

"Yeah, but you probably don't like that we—"

"I disapprove of whatever relationship you plan to form with him while you are here with me. It clouds your judgment and weakens your senses."

"But—"

"This discussion is over. Get some rest, Mail."

"Can you at least call me by my alias? You know how much I hate hearing my real name," I requested. L nodded and turned his chair away from me.

"The door, Matt," he said as I exited.

God, I don't know why I went to talk to him. I always feel two inches tall afterward. Good going, Matt. You managed to get him even more disapproving of you. I didn't even think that was possible. I took a deep breath and walked back to my room. Mello was sitting up in bed with the lamp on, reading a magazine and eating a chocolate bar.

"Hey," he said as he lowered his magazine. I nodded in acknowledgment and walked over to the bed.

"Good night," I mumbled as I slipped under the sheets and turned away from him. Mello let out a long sigh behind me and turned off the lights.

"Matt…" he cooed. "Look, I'm sorry for how I was acting before. I don't even know what came over me. You know that I love y—spending time with you. I guess it just scared me that we were sharing a room because I didn't want anything to change between us."

"Then you shouldn't have kissed me," I heard myself say. The words hung in the air like a thick fog. I already felt like I was choking on my own words. Oh, and believe me, I heard that little word hiccup just know…I'm not stupid. Like I said, neither of us are willing to admit that we have feelings for each other…even though we've kissed. I know, I know! It's just complicated, okay?

"Matty, don't say that," he whispered as he tugged on my shoulder for me to face him. I obliged but I could only see darkness around me. I felt Mello before I saw him. I felt his hands work their way up my shirt, making me tremble with want.

I felt his breath on my neck in the cold darkness. It was warm and inviting. I waited to see what he was going to do next before I did anything in return. With Mello, I never knew my boundaries and he was basically a ticking time bomb.

Mello's warm lips pressed against base of my neck, earning him a soft moan from me. He slowly worked his way up my neck until he reached my ear, which he tugged on with his teeth. And just as I was about to throw him against the mattress and make crazy, hot love to him, he does it again…he pulls away, but only for a short second to whisper something in my ear.

"Matt…do you…" Mello paused, shifting next to me uncomfortably. "Do you like boys?"

I can even describe to you the shock I'm in right now. Had he not been there when I kissed him? Twice! Had he not just been there when he made my moan and tremble under his touch? God, this guy was going to be the death of me.

"Mello…" I started off carefully and slowly, making sure he understood everything. "I don't know if you've noticed, which I'm sure you have, but you just made me go from zero to one-eighty in a few short minutes, if you catch my drift." I heard Mello chuckle in the darkness.

"No…I mean, I know you like me…but do you find other guys attractive too?" he asked again. This question took me even more off guard than the first. I thought about it carefully before answering.

"Well, before we met at the mission, I didn't really find anyone attractive really. It was assassin this, assassin that. I didn't really have much time for dating. And then you walked into my life in that tight leather," I almost growled seductively. Jeez, when had I become such an animal with him? Oh yeah, when he got me hard…in a bed…in the darkness…with no one else around.

I felt for Mello's shoulders in the darkness and pushed them down against the mattress. I heard him take in a quick breath before I straddled his hips. Leaning down I could finally see his face now that my eyes had adjusted to the darkness. His eyes were wide and expectant and I smiled (probably looked evil with the things I had in mind behind that smile, just saying) before I trapped his lips with mine.

Hearing Mello moan was one of the best sounds in the whole world. Every nerve set on fire in my body and I knew that there was no way in hell that I was letting him stop me from deepening the kiss this time. I brushed my tongue against his bottom lip, silently screaming and begging for entrance. With a slight hesitation, he gave it to me. This time it was me that let out the moan, which in turn made Mello moan.

Mello's fingers tangled themselves into my hair as we desperately explored each other's mouths. Mello's tongue brushed against mine and I playfully bit it, raking my teeth against it. He seemed to like this a lot because of the way his body arched toward mine.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this to happen," I whispered against his neck. It was Mello who trembled this time.

"M-Matt…" he gasped as I gently bit into the skin. I smiled at the effect I was having on him.

"What is it, Mello?" I murmured softly as I left a trail of kisses down his jaw.

"I n-need to kn-know…" he barely got out of his mouth. I pulled back and looked at him with confusion. He swallowed and tried to catch his breath before continuing. "If you're gay or not."

"Mello, what the hell do you think I'm doing here, _on top of you?"_ I emphasized the on top part by grinding my hips into his, earning me another moan.

"No, no. Please, Matt. Can we just talk?"

I growled in frustration. I can NOT catch a fucking break with him! "Mello," I moaned softly in his ear. "I care about you more than anything and I want you so bad right now that it hurts, literally hurts. If that's not gay then I don't know what is, Mells."

"Please, Matt," he barely whispered, gently pushing on my shoulders. I caught the hint and got off of him. "I think maybe you just have some pent up…sexual frustration that you need to get out…"

"Yes…" I agreed slowly, like I was talking to a mentally challenged person. "But I wouldn't want to get rid of it with anyone but you, Mells."

"I know you say that, but I think maybe you're mistaking our friendship for something more…I mean, we have been cooped up in an apartment for the past eight months in hiding. I can see how that can maybe confuse you—"

"Mello! Shut up!" I growled (yes, literally growled this time) at him. "How dare you say these things. How _dare_ you undermine my feelings for you as sexual frustration and confusion? What do I have to do to prove my feelings for you? Was moving in with you not enough? Was kissing you not enough? I'm crazy in love with you and I wish that you would just see that!"

Shit. What the _hell_ just came out of my mouth?

Fucking word vomit. _Everywhere_.


	4. Chapter 4: Closer

**A House Divided**

Chapter Four: Closer

Well. I guess the cat's out of the bag. Me, Mail Jeevas, just confessed my love to Mello in a heated moment. I never thought it would happen like this. And now there was the long silence of shock (on both our parts, I might add, not just his) and I was mentally face-palming myself.

I sighed and looked at the clock. Three minutes had gone by. Three long, painful minutes. I finally reached up and turned on the lights. Mello's eyes didn't even blink.

"Great, I broke him," grumbled to myself as I rubbed my tired eyes. Mello's eyes finally moved to meet mine. I was surprised to see tears in them. "Shit, Mello, I'm sorry. Please don't cry…"

"No, Matt. They're happy tears," he murmured. My heart leapt at the words and a smile spread across my face, mirrored by Mello's new forming smile.

"You're everything to me," I whispered as I hugged him close to me. I thought that I had scared him away with my word hiccup…well, train wreck. "I love you."

"I love you too, Matty," he breathed, hugging me closer to him. I looked down at him to smile and was greeted with a kiss. My lips formed to his lovingly. I pulled away to look at him in the eye as I smoothed out his hair.

"You're amazing," I told him with a smile. Mello just smiled and hugged me in response.

"Lay down," he whispered in my ear. I obliged and laid down for him but was not expecting what happened next.

Mello whipped his leg around so he was on top of me. I stared at him in shock as he smiled devilishly. He trailed his hands up my shirt and pulled it off of my torso. I reached up and tried to do the same for him, but he slapped my hands away.

"What the hell, Mello?" I asked in major confusion. He just chuckled darkly.

"My turn." Mello kissed me briefly, then made his way down my neck.

I couldn't even explain to you the emotions rushing through me at moment went his teeth came into contact with my chest. It was as if my body was set on fire and frozen at the same time. My temperature for sure picked up but goosebumps ran up my arm.

Mello kissed his way toward my nipple and took it into his mouth, making me grab at his hair in response.

"Mello!" I moaned deeply. I could feel his lips curl up into a smile around my nipple. I gasped as he gently nibbled on the sensitive skin.

His kisses trailed down my stomach slowly, almost like waiting for a raindrop to fall off of a leaf. When Mello reached my pajama bottoms, he chuckled slightly and kissed right under my belly button, making me squirm in anticipation.

"Gosh, I'm beat," Mello said, collapsing next to me, a smirk plastered all over his face. I almost throttled that smirk right off of his face. This wasn't fucking funny. Mello turned to smile at me but it fell off his face when he saw my expression (which I'm sure was deadly) and his eyes widened.

"You're beat?" I growled playfully. "I'll beat you, that's for sure!" I pounced on top of my prey and kissed him fiercely. I ripped his shirt off as fast as I could.

"Oooh, I'm so scared," he taunted me. I laughed softly as I felt the contours of his chest. Everything about him was perfect. His blonde hair fanned around his face like a halo and a small smile played on his lips as he gazed up at me.

"I love you," I said softly. I stroked his cheek while I sat lightly on his hips.

"I love you too," he whispered back. I leaned down to kiss him when I heard our door slam open. Mello practically threw me off of him and onto the floor. He looked at me apologetically for a brief second and turned his attention to the doorway.

"Get dressed," Light commanded and stormed out of the room. Was that rage or fright? I couldn't tell. "Now!" we heard him yell down the hall at us. Mello and I shared a glance before we rushed to our own separate dressers.

I pulled on my striped shirt and jeans while Mello put on his usual attire of leather. We both nodded at each other when we were ready and started to head out the door only to have a gun pointed at my face.

"I seriously cannot catch a fucking break!" I complained. The gunman moved the weapon from my face to Mello's and that's what set me off. I took a step forward and jammed the man's elbow the wrong way, making him miss his shot and cry out in pain. I quickly elbowed him in the side of the head, making him fall to the floor. I stole the weapon from his jacket and tossed it at Mello with a stern glance.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked me…as if I knew or something.

"Mello you better keep yourself safe or I swear to fucking G—" my words were cut off by the sound of a gunshot. I took one last loving look at Mello and sprinted out of the room with him on my heels.

I held whatever weapon the gunman had aimed at me at eye level, keeping me senses sharp. Mello followed me backwards in my footsteps, watching my back.

"L!" I heard Light call out from the living room. When Mello had made sure that the hallway was clear, we both ran as fast as we could to the living room. Small cabin, _my ass_!

"L!" Mello and I called out at the same time, seeing his crumpled body on and floor and Light being surrounded by guns being pointed at his head. I flicked my nose twice at Mello who nodded and rolled towards the men with guns. One of them noticed Mello slip by in the dim lighting and pointed his gun, but Mello was faster. He wacked the man in the head with the barrel of his gun and rolled to the next victim. I watched the gunmen with a sharp eye, ready to pull my trigger. While Mello was taking out one hit man, another pointed a gun to the back of his head, causing me to instantly shoot him between the eyes.

I eyed my weapon in confusion. A tranquilizing gun? The needle of the tranquilizer hit him right between his eyes and made him drop in the matter of seconds. Mello took out the last of the men and looked at me with a cocky eyebrow raised.

"Not even a drop of blood," he praised himself. I rolled my eyes but was glad he was safe.

"Check on L. I'm going to do a sweep," I ordered. He nodded and rushed over to L with Light in his shadow.

I made my way down the hallway, checking every room carefully and quietly. When I saw that everything was clear, I made my way back to the living room. Light was being hysterical (which was such a change from his usual, high and mighty behavior) and Mello was pumping L's chest in frustration.

"Breathe dammit!" he yelled, tears evident in his eyes. I looked sadly at the scene.

"Wait!" I said, quickly shoving Mello's hands away. "He has a collapsed lung…Mello, your knife?"

Mello handed me his knife cautiously and waited for further instruction. I looked at Light quickly, noticing the pen in his shirt pocket. I swiftly snatched it out of the pocket and started disassembling it. I looked at the two expectantly.

"Does 911 sound like a good idea to anyone?" I scolded sarcastically. They both rushed away from me to find the nearest phone.

I was glad that they left because I couldn't do this with them breathing down my neck. I took Mello's knife and slowly inserted it into L's chest, in the middle of his rib cage. He didn't move. I sunk the knife until I was sure I reached his lung because he started to cough and choke. I quickly removed the knife and skillfully inserted the outer casing of the pen. L's eyes fluttered open and closed for a brief second. I leaned over and blew some air through the pen casing, inflating his lung again. L's breathing went from almost non-existent to almost normal. I sighed and collapsed on the floor next to him. I pray to God I'll never have to do that again.

"Matt?" Mello said behind me. I craned my neck to look at him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not a doctor…" I sighed from the floor. The adrenaline of the whole night was quickly crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. Mello came to sit next to me.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I have no idea, but I did what I could do. The real doctors are going to have to take it from here." I sat up and rested my head on Mello's shoulder. He patted my hair affectionately. We turned at the sound of Light collapsing on his knees next to L.

"Oh, L," he sobbed. He gingerly held L's limp head and kissed his forehead. "Don't die on me now. Not after everything."

Mello and I shared a sad glance as Light wept into L's hair, rubbing his cheek slowly.

"Hey, the ambulance is here!" I said, hearing the sound before either of them did. Mello gave me an odd look for a second until the sound caught up with his ears.

Everything after that was a blur. The helicopter (curse L and his secluded cabin) took us all to the nearest and finest hospital and we sat in the waiting room for hours, passing in and out of consciousness. We tried to stay awake but none of us had been given the opportunity for proper sleep. Well, maybe we had been given an opportunity before the whole shooting, but we didn't take it. So, that left us exhausted, pacing in stuffy waiting room. It seemed like a century before the doctor finally walked in. I nudged Mello awake who had fallen asleep in his chair about an hour ago.

"It looks as though he's going to be just fine," the doctor said happily. Light rejoiced at the news, hugging the doctor tightly. The medic laughed awkwardly at the hug and glanced at me. "Actually it's this young man you should be hugging. He saved your friend's life. After L got here, it was all too easy to take from where this young man left off."

"Thank you," I mumbled politely. Mello joyously punched me in the arm and Light flung himself onto me.

"Thank you so much, Matt. You have no idea what he means to me…" Light admitted. I laughed quietly at the statement as I looked at Mello.

"Actually, I think I do." I took Mello's hand into mine and kissed the back of it. Mello smiled in response but said nothing. I knew how extremely uncomfortable hospitals made him. Light peeled himself away from me and sat in the chair opposite us.

"So do you mind telling us why we had to save your asses tonight?" Mello finally brought up. It took him awhile. I think maybe he was waiting for the news about L.

"Yeah," Light said. "They were after Matt."

I looked at him in shock. But the gunman had pointed the tranquilizer at Mello…

"I don't think so," I interjected. "Mello had the gun pointed at him, not me."

"Yes, but we received a call minutes earlier telling us that we were to give up the 'Jeevas kid' and no one gets hurt and that if we struggled, 'the blonde one dies'."

"What?!" Mello yelled in an outrage. Oh, _please _not here, Mello. Not in the middle of a _fucking hospital_, I thought to myself. "Did they say what they wanted with him? Or who it was?"

"Yeah, no kidding!" I said as I threw my arm up in frustration even thought I had a pretty good idea that it was still the same gang that had me sniped in front of my own apartment. I was starting to think that the assassin missing wasn't an "accident" at all. I think they wanted me get wounded and not killed, that way they could keep me pinned to the map as I stayed at the hospital.

"Light!" Mello said, starting a scene. I put my hand on his arm, begging him with my eyes to calm down before we got thrown out. "Answer us," he said in a quieter tone.

"Look," Light said tiredly, matching Mello's quiet tone. "All I know is that L's known about this for a while now. He didn't tell me until tonight that he knew, but he didn't tell me anything more than what I needed to know to make plans to leave the cabin. But from what it sounded like, they will stop at nothing to have you on their side, or Mello dies."

Fan-fucking-tastic.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you all think? I'm kinda stuck from here. I'd like to hear from more of my viewers, though I'd like to give a shout out to CatatonicVanity for keeping me going! It's always nice to hear that someone likes what I write. :) Please review!**

**~MattXMello  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Alone

**A House Divided**

Chapter Five: Alone

Okay, so I really only had two options: either I join this unknown gang…or I kill them before they kill Mello—who I happen to love (just in case you forgot).

The thing is, when it comes to Mello's life, I can't take chances. I have to make sure he's safe…no matter what I have to do.

"Matt," Mello said, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to look at his tired face. The angelic features that he usually carried were being tainted by dark circles and stress lines. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Just thinking about this whole thing. I don't want more people to get hurt. I'm just grateful that—"

"Hey, Matt!" Light called from down the hallway. "He's asking for you…"

Mello gave me a concerned look and gestured for me to go to L's room. Light met me halfway and patted me on the shoulder. I was afraid of what L was going to say about all of this. If he hated my involvement with the mafia before, he's going to _really_ hate it now.

I popped my head into the door to find L lying on an all too familiar bed. Been there, done that.

"Mail," he greeted shortly again. I cringed at the sound of my name. "I'm sorry. Matt."

I stared at him in shock. "Uh, you wanted to see me…?"

"Yes, actually. I wanted to discuss the payment of my debt," he addressed to me formally.

"Um…I guess I'm not following you here." I scratched my head dumbly.

"From what I understand, you saved my life and I would like to know how you want me to pay you in return."

"Uh, L, you don't have to—"

"I insist," he said with finality. I shifted on my feet, thinking about something I could say. I smiled broadly.

"Well, there is something…" I said.

"Name it and it is yours."

"Actually it's not for me. It's for Light." I paused to look at his facial expressed. It didn't change but by his silence I could sense he was either confused or shocked. "I want you to give him a chance with the whole dating thing. I mean, that guy sticks with you through everything…and if you think Mello and I are obvious, you should take a look at you two sometime."

I can't believe I had just said that to L. _The_ L. The _world's greatest detective_, L.

I'm screwed. I'm so screwed. If there was a trophy for crossing a line, I just won it. And the ribbon…and the sash…

"As you wish," he said finally. I exhaled quickly, not realizing how long I had been holding my breath. "Sent Light back in as you leave please."

I sensed that this was the end of our conversation so I just nodded and headed back to the waiting room. Light and Mello were waiting for me in anticipation. I smiled widely at Light.

"Dude, you so owe me," I told him. He looked at me in confusion. "Go talk to him. He's asking for you."

Light remained confused but followed my instructions anyway. I silently pulled Mello out of his chair and gestured for him not to make a sound as we followed Light back to the room. We waited until Light entered the room to turn the corner and stealthily crept along the wall. Mello and I listened closely to the conversation between them.

"What is it, L? Are you feeling alright?" we heard Light ask. Mello looked at me as in 'why the hell are we crouched outside L's room?' I just held a finger up to my mouth and kept listening.

"It has come to my attention that I am indeed _not_ immortal," L attempted at joking. I made a face at Mello. "I also don't want to go through life regretting not doing some things that I've put off…"

"I guess I don't understand where this is going," Light responded dumbly. Mello and I silently face-palmed.

"Well, when I get out of here I was wondering if you would like to accompany on an outing that doesn't involve work," L tried again. There was a long, painful silence. I would imagine that Light was in shock, but I couldn't be sure.

"You mean…like a date?" he asked hesitantly.

"Call it what you wish."

There was another short paused before we heard footsteps make their way toward the door. Mello and I quickly scurried a few feet away and pinned ourselves against the wall. The door was then closed.

"What the hell is happening to this world?" Mello whispered.

"L asked me for one thing in return for saving his life and I told him to take a chance on Light and the whole dating thing," I beamed at him. I was excited for Light. He deserved this. And I'm pretty sure it was good for L to get out of the house once in a while.

"You're too good for me," Mello whispered back. He looked at me in amazement. I ignored the comment and tippy-toed back to the door and peaked through the little window. I quickly crouched down out of sight.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Was I hyperventilating?

"What? What is it? Tell me!" Mello hissed. When I didn't respond, Mello took a look for himself and repeated my actions. "Wow…"

"They were…"

"Kissing!"

The door swung open and sent Mello and I to the floor. We looked up at Light with innocent smiles. He looked down at us with an eyebrow raised.

"So…the weather…" I said.

"Yeah, it's kinda chilly out," Mello commented, playing along.

"Get up, you two," Light instructed with a graceful laugh. We quickly stood up and brushed ourselves off. It's not like there was anything really on ourselves, but we just wanted to keep ourselves busy.

"So, what's new?" Mello asked knowingly. Light rolled his eyes.

"L will be able to come home in two days but until then he has to have lots of rest while he heals. Watari is going to send a helicopter to retrieve you two soon and take you to a secret location that even we don't know."

"Well, that's not juicy gossip," Mello muttered under his breath. I hit him in the arm.

"And what about you?" I asked.

"I'm obviously going to stay here with L," he said with a blush on his cheeks. Mello wiggled his eyebrows at him, making the blush even deeper.

"Thank you once again, Matt," L said from the bed. I had almost forgotten that he was there. I nodded, but then he added, "For everything." And that made me wonder if he meant for the Light thing too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey, Matt," Mello purred in my ear. "We finally have some alone time again…"

I smiled and shifted in the bed so I was facing him. He kissed me gently and stroked my cheek affectionately.

"Mells, I'm sorry but I'm not really up for…stuff right now. I'm exhausted," I admitted finally. He sighed and nodded.

"I understand. I love and hate the adrenaline, you know? I love how it makes me feel at the time. It helps me think clearly and aim straight…but then it sends me crashing down at the end of the day. It's annoying. I wish I could feel the high of the blood rushing through my veins without having to feel the crash later."

"Yeah, I know. Seeing that gun being pointed at your head today really did it for me. It put things in perspective…" I put out there vaguely.

"What do you mean?"

"Mells, you could have been killed today because of _me_. I would never be able to forgive myself if you died because of me when I could have prevented it the whole time by just doing what they say…"

"Matt, what the hell are you implying? Because I_ know _you're not considering teaming up with those freaks." I could feel Mello's temperature rise next to me in the dark.

"Calm down, Mello. I'm just thinking out loud. Please don't jump to conclusions," I pleaded tiredly. I loved the guy, but his temper got on my nerves when I wasn't in a patient enough mood.

"Alright, Matt. But don't think we're not talking about this tomorrow," he warned.

"Okay. I love you," I said before I kissed him chastely.

"I love you too, Matt. Good night."

And I'm pretty sure this is the part where I passed out from exhaustion.

"Matty, wake up. Someone's in the house," I heard Mello say to me sometime during the night. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my gun out from under my pillow in one quick movement.

We slowly walked over to the door of our room and opened it. Mello stuck a hand mirror out of the crack to check for people in the hallway. When he decided it was clear, he motioned for me to go. I swiftly stepped out into the hallway, gun raised. I made my way toward the noise, which sounded like it was coming from the living room. When I got closer to the living room I saw a shadow in the moonlight. I speedily pressed my back up against the wall and got my gun ready. The person stepped out from behind the wall and my gun instantly made contact with their forehead in the darkness.

"Matt? What the hell?!" I heard a familiar voice say. The light flicked on and I found myself face to face with Light and L. I quickly lowered my gun and let out a sigh of relief.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking around in the middle of the night like this? And I thought you had to stay for two more days!" I defended myself.

"It was a decoy. L had suspicions that the room was bugged and wanted the people to think that he was going to be there for longer," Light explained, clearly irritated.

Mello made his way out in the hallway room to greet us. He must have heard our conversation and thought it was safe. His gun was also in his hand. Wow, we were paranoid…

"Hey guys," he greeted them. The other two nodded in response as Light attempted to walk L to his room to lie down.

"You know, Matt, I have to give credit where credit is due and you were probably one hell of an assassin," L said weakly. Mello and I shared shocked glances. "I didn't even hear you come down the hall and I have above average hearing in the dark."

"Oh, well thanks L. Means a lot," I said back awkwardly.

"Yes, well, get some rest. We relocate early tomorrow morning," he informed us and then Light ushered him into the room and closed the door.

_If I'm still here in the morning_, I thought to myself as I looked at Mello's perfect face.

* * *

**A/N: Woah! I know it was a short chapter but a lot happened in it that's really important for the rest of the story. Let me know what you think. Should Matt leave or stay? I haven't decided yet. Someone persuade me in a direction! Review!**

**Love, MattXMello**


	6. Chapter 6: Mello

**A House Divided**

Chapter Six: Mello

I woke up before Mello did. I couldn't help but snuggle up behind him and look at him sleeping so peacefully. The lines on his forehead and the circles under his eyes had disappeared during the night and his beauty was back to normal.

There was a short knock on the door and Light popped his head in. He blushed at the sight of Mello and me cuddling in bed. I sat up to look at him, trying not to wake Mello.

"It's time," was all he said and then exited quietly.

I got up and silently packed Mello's bags for him so he could sleep a little longer. I personally didn't get much sleep because I was up all night debating on whether or not I should leave. I guess in the end I decided to stay and see if I could take out this mafia gang before they took out Mello.

"Matty?" I heard Mello say into his pillow a short while later. I quickly rushed to his side and smiled down at him. His eyes fluttered open at the touch of my finger on his cheek.

"Hey…how did you sleep?" I asked him gently. I couldn't waste any time with him anymore. Our days were numbered it seemed like. We didn't have time for distancing ourselves from each other or fighting. I was going to show him how much I really did love him before it was too late.

"Fine I guess. You packed for me?" he asked, noticing our bags piled up by the door. I nodded and softly moved his hair out of his eyes. "Matt, you're not wearing your goggles…"

"Oh…yeah I totally forgot. Hm…that's strange…" I walked over to my side of the bed and searched for my goggles. I couldn't find them anywhere and I was 100% positive that I had put them on my nightstand before I got my two hours of sleep. "Mello, did you take my goggles?"

"No, I just woke up. I don't know where they are," he responded, fully awake because of the obvious urgency in my tone. I flipped the covers open and looked between the sheets, tearing apart the bed.

"Where the fuck are they? I swear I put them on the nightstand before I went to bed!" I panicked. Mello quickly got out of bed to help me look.

"Matt, help me move the bed. Maybe they fell behind the headboard or something," he suggested. I took my side and shifted the bed with Mello.

"Oh, thank God," I said as I laid my eyes on them. They were a little dusty, but no harm done. I slipped them into place on my face and blinked a couple of times.

"What's wrong?" Mello asked, noticing my discomfort.

"Nothing…they just feel weird today. It's probably because I didn't fall asleep in them last night while playing video games," I chuckled. Mello smiled in return as he tied up his leather pants. I bit my lip at the sight. I wish we had a few minutes to ourselves this morning…

"Hey guys, hurry up! Five minutes," Light called through the door. God, it's like Light knows when the best time to interrupt is!

Sensing my frustration at Light, Mello walked up to me and placed a kiss on my cheek. "It's okay, Matt. We'll have another chance for alone time. Don't worry," he reassured me. _Maybe not_, I thought.

"C'mon," I whispered sadly. "They're waiting for us."

Mello nodded and followed me out. Behind the house a helicopter was hovering with a ladder leading down to the ground. I let Mello climb it first and I quickly followed him. Light and L were waiting there for us with hot chocolate and coffee.

"How did you sleep last night, Matt?" L asked me politely. I wasn't going to get used to this attention from L…ever.

"About as good as you sleep, L," I said sourly. I hated not getting sleep. It made my senses numb and not as sharp.

"Well, you'll have time to get a little sleep on the way to our next destination," Light piped in. "It's going to be about five hours until our next stop, boys, so get comfortable."

"Where exactly are we going?" Mello asked, practically inhaling his hot chocolate.

"Africa," Light and L said at the same time. Mello choked a little on his liquid chocolate and I just felt my jaw drop.

"Um, tell me you're joking," Mello said with slight hysteria in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Mihael, but that is where our final destination is. We will only make one stop on the way there and that is for food," L told him. Mello and I _both_ flinched at the use of his real name.

"It's Mello," he corrected L, but L was already nodding off to sleep. Seriously, what is happening in this world? L falling asleep? I don't think so.

"It's his medication," Light told us. "It's supposed to help him sleep so he can heal but L hasn't taken medication in so long that his body is overreacting to it. It's like he has narcolepsy."

Mello and I shared concerned glances. This wasn't good. How the heck was this group supposed to function when the world's greatest detective was as good as dead?

Light caught L's body as it started to fall forward and rested it against himself. He smiled fondly at the sight of a sleeping L against his shoulder and wrapped his arm around him. Mello and I shared another glance…

"Shut up," Light scolded us. We tried to wipe the goofy smiles of our faces but couldn't. The sight in front of us was too cute.

I was happy for Light, really. I wanted him to be happy, if I couldn't be. He just reminded me so much of Mello. I know that's strange to say because Light is so collected and calm, but he does. The fact that Light would do pretty much anything for L reminds me of the stupid things Mello would always do for me, like saving my ass on certain missions where I backed myself into a corner. Or how Light is always looking like he walked out of an Abercrombie and Fitch magazine…it reminds me on how Mello always prides himself on his hair and how damn sexy he looks in his leather. Also, Light's wit is quick and always on top of things, much like Mello's.

So it's fair to say that when I want Light to be happy, it's because I know that I might not be around much longer to make Mello happy. Part of me feels that if Light is happy, Mello has hope to be happy because I know how much Mello has always looked up to Light.

Mello interrupted my thoughts with, "Matt, do you hear that?"

"Hear what, Mells?" I asked sleepily. All I could hear was the soothing sound of the helicopter blades. Mello shushed me and listened closer.

"That beeping…"

That's when shit hit the fan. I kid you not, I almost shit myself when I heard, saw, and felt the back end of the helicopter being blown off. The wind whipped everything in the cabin of the copter around and out of the giant hole. Mello let out strangled cries as he looked at how far up we were with no protection.

"LIGHT! Where the hell are the parachutes?!" I screamed. Light quickly unbuckled and climbed up by the captain's cabin. He brought back four parachutes. He secured his on before handing Mello his and then mine.

"L! Wake up!" I heard Light call to L over the sound of the deafening wind. How on God's green earth was this man sleeping through a bombing?! L's eyes fluttered open for a second and then he fell back asleep.

"Light, do something!" I told him.

"We don't have much time!" he yelled back. I don't see how that helped…he only enforced what I said before him. "I'm just going to attach L to me and jump. Take care of Mello!" Yeah, like that needed to be said. Light gave us one last look and jumped out of the air vehicle with L. Mello yelled in…fear?

" Mello c'mon," I said as I unbuckled. I fastened my parachute onto my back and prepared to jump.

"Matt! I'm stuck!" Mello yelled above the wind. He yanked on his seatbelt hopelessly. "Help me!"

"Okay, Mello. Calm down. Please, you have to calm down!" I told him as I replaced his hands on the seatbelt with mine. It was indeed stuck and my hands started to shake nervously.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the wall that L and Light had been sitting by blew to pieces. Mello shrieked as he flailed around with his seatbelt. My footing escaped me and I slid to floor, trying to find something to grab onto.

Trust me people, you don't know how much you love life until you find yourself dangling from a helicopter that's x-amount of miles in the air when the love of your life is trapped in said helicopter.

"NO! MATT, DON'T LEAVE ME!" Mello screamed. Tears were pouring out of his eyes and my heart constricted at the sight of him crying.

"Mello! You have to hurry! I can't hold on much longer and another bomb could be right below your seat! Please!" I begged him. He jerked his seat belt buckle around a few more times before stopping and grabbing his rosary that hung around his neck… "NO! Mello, don't you dare give up on me!"

"I love you, Matt! I love you so much!" he cried.

"Mello, stop that right now! You have to keep trying! Don't give up…" I pleaded. "Mello! Wait! Your knife! I know you have your knife in your pocket!"

Mello's eyes brightened with hope as his fished his pocket knife out of his pocket. He sawed at his seatbelt but it was the best quality seatbelt in the country and there was no way he was going to cut through it in time. I felt my grip on the helicopter start to slip…

"Matt, just let go! I'll never make it in time!" he wept.

"No, Mello! I'm not leaving without you! Please just keep trying…"

Mello took a few more minutes. Even Watari had ejected himself from the pilot's seat already. We were the only two left on the death trap. Mello gave a loud wail as he used all his strength to cut through what was left of the seat belt. It snapped in his hands and he finally was free.

"YES! Mello, jump and I'll catch you in the air, okay?" He shook his head with wide eyes. "MELLO! Now is NOT the time to not trust me!"

"Matt, I'm scared!"

"Which are you more scared of? Me not catching you or you being blown to pieces by a bomb?" I reasoned with him. "Please, Mello. It's the only way! I can't hold on much longer. If we jump at the same time then you can grab my hand mid-air!"

"Okay, Matt. I'm trusting you on this one. On three, okay?"

"Okay. One…"

"Two…"

"Three!" I said and I felt as though all my fingers were broken when I let go.

You know when you were little and you would stand by the pool and tell your friends to jump in with you on three…and you found yourself in the pool alone because they didn't jump with you? Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

Mello didn't jump. His fear of heights was too much for him and I watched as the second half of the helicopter blew up.

I cried out as I fell. I didn't even feel the sickening feeling of falling in my stomach. I felt the heart break of losing the one I love. My best friend and my lover. My partner in crime and my rock. Just gone in the blink of an eye.

I saw his body being thrown from the explosion at the last second and I couldn't help but catch him while he was falling. If he was going to die, then so was I. I caught his body with a thud and held it close to me.

"Mello! Please tell me that you're alive. Tell me that what I saw wasn't real! Tell me that you jumped and a bomb didn't just blow you out of a helicopter! PLEASE!"

Silence.

I had never cried so hard in my life. I saw the blood running down the left side of Mello's face and shoulder. I was getting closer and closer to the ground as I balled my eyes out into his chest. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I pulled my parachute and floated down with him in my arms. I could have died with him if I hadn't done that, but I did.

Maybe it was my natural human instinct of survival. Or maybe it was so I had more time with him before I left this world. Or maybe it was because I was going to kill the son of bitch who did this to him. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was all of them, but especially the last one.

"Mello, I love you," I whispered into his hair as we slowly touched down to the ground.

I sat there on the ground with him for what seemed like ages. I traced my fingers along his rosary. Wasn't this glorified piece of jewelry supposed to protect him from this sort of crap? I clutched it angrily and almost tore it off his neck, but stopped before I did. He wouldn't have wanted it that way. He would have wanted it to stay on him and be with him when he was buried.

"I swear to God, and I mean literally swear to God, Mello…when I see you in the afterlife, I'm going to fucking kill you for not jumping. Mark my words Mihael Keehl…" I cried as I pressed my forehead against his and I could have sworn that I felt his eyelash flutter against my cheek.

* * *

**A/N: Wow...so many feels for this chapter. Tell me what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7: Limbo

"Mello, are you alive?" I asked hopefully, frantically pushing his hair out of his bloody face. "Mello?"

There was no answer…

I must be going crazy to think that his eyelashes brushed against my face. This must be that denial thing that everyone is talking about. I couldn't do this. I couldn't just live in this world without him. He was…is my everything. Without him there is nothing. I reached behind my back and pulled my gun out of its usual spot…but Mello's hand stopped my hand from making its way toward my head.

"Mello! You're alive! Oh, God…" I gasped, throwing my gun on the ground. His eyes parted slightly and a small smile formed on his lips. I cried tears of joy and relief as I hugged him tightly to my chest. "I thought I had lost you!"

"Matt," he whispered hoarsely. I nodded quickly for him to continue. "Hospital…"

"Oh, right…That might be important…" I said, frantically searching for my cellphone. Before I even dialed 911, a large black van tore through the dried out cornfield we were in. I reached for my gun instinctively. The van door flew open and I aimed my gun.

"You really need to stop pointing guns in my face," Light said impatiently.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm a little fucking paranoid!" I snapped back at him. He hopped out of the van and helped me lift Mello into it.

We didn't even have the door closed and Watari was already ripping through the fields. We had a quiet drive for the most part, until Light finally spoke up.

"I thought you were going to take care of him…" he tried to joke. I glared at him. I wasn't in the mood for his cocky attitude.

"His seatbelt wouldn't unbuckle, oddly enough." My voice probably sounded accusatory, because I half blamed Light and L for not checking the helicopter for fucking bombs and properly functioning seatbelts.

"Look, when we checked the helicopter over there was nothing and everything was working okay. We went inside for maybe five minutes and something must have happened. We're just human," Light explained snappily. I looked over at L, who was being oddly quiet. He nodded in agreement to what Light said.

"I don't care," I said with a sigh. "Let's just get Mello to a hospital and get him the treatments he needs. How much longer?"

"We're only about two minutes away," Light told me. The last two minutes of the ride were silent.

* * *

The wait in the lobby was painful. I wore a hole in the floor by pacing, I swear. Occasionally Light or L would offer me a drink or tell me to sit down and stop worrying, but it was Mello's life we're talking about. I couldn't just sit down and pretend that everything is okay when he was so close to death. I thought I had already lost him once. I didn't want to go through that again…

"Are you Matt?" the doctor asked me when he finally came to the waiting room. I stopped mid-step and stared at him with wide eyes. This was it…the moment of truth.

"Yeah…" I said slowly. His face looked way too somber for it to be good news.

"Okay, well currently Mello is in critical condition. We induced him into a coma for a couple of days so his body can heal. He has a lot of…facial scarring. Unfortunately, we couldn't replace the skin missing with grafts without his permission. Seeing as how he's been unconscious since he arrived, his face will heal that way. It will take him a while to recover…Days, maybe," he said gravely.

I didn't really know how to react. From what I heard from the doctor, he was doing okay…but not great. I was extremely relieved that he wasn't on death's doorstep, but I was quite upset that he was doing so poorly. God, I'm going to kill him for not jumping…

"Can I see him?" I asked hopefully. The doctor nodded and I followed him to Mello's room.

"He was conscious for enough time to ask for you earlier. It's too bad we couldn't ask him about the skin graft," was all he said before he left me alone with Mello.

"Oh, Mells…" I exhaled deeply.

The left half of his face was wrapped up. I didn't want to be within ten miles of him when he saw his new face. He had always prided himself on his perfect complexion and his natural beauty. I gently traced my fingers on his covered face before kissing him lightly on the forehead.

He was going to have a fit about his face…and I was scared. Well, at least he's alive, right? Ugh, who am I kidding? It's Mello we're talking about. He'll freak.

"How's he doing?" L said behind me. I shook my head sadly.

"I don't know. He'll be in a coma for the next few days…"

"Matt, you know what you have to do, right?" Light asked angrily, gazing down at Mello. I stared at him in confusion.

"You have to go after the guy who did this to Mello," L explained, equally as angry. I blinked in surprise. From all the people in this world, I did not expect L to condone murder. It was against the law.

"It's justice," Light said, reading my face. "He's tried to kill us multiple times. We're lucky L made it out alive and now Mello is hanging by a thread. He needs to be stopped and you're the only one that has the skills to track him down and end this."

"And you two are okay with this?" I asked cautiously.

"We tracked down his name while we were looking for you and Mello. His name is Blue Jackson. His gang alias is Duke. He can be found in northern California. I suggest you find him, put an end to him, and return by the time Mello wakes. The car is waiting outside for you. You will find everything you need in there," L told me monotonously.

"What—"

"I suggest you leave now," he interrupted me. I threw my hands up in frustration. I was never going to understand this guy! I walked over to Mello and placed a kiss on his forehead, then made my way out to the car that was waiting for me.

* * *

So, here I am in northern California…

I don't know if it was made clear before, but Mello and I aren't big fans on California. It was where our parents were killed. We tend to stay away from it at all costs. Being back here didn't really put that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach. As much as I wanted to visit my mother's grave, I was on a time crunch.

I pulled my tracking device out of my pocket. L had managed to get a chip on one of the helicopters that the people who attacked us used. Usually in situations like this the person comes up with a plan before breaking into a mafia base…but I was just kinda thrown in here with no direction. So…

I found the base soon after I landed in California. It actually wasn't that hard to find. It was the underground section of a chocolate factory. I couldn't help but get re-mad when I thought about how much Mello would have loved to be here. However, these assholes had to tear half his face off and send me after them.

So, right now I'm climbing through an air duct that I made sure had no cameras in it. I could hear some mafia members talking below me. They weren't too smart, and I'm pretty sure most of them were drunk. This was going to be too easy. I pulled out my laser and cut a hole in the aluminum. I could hear them all shout in surprise and get there guns ready.

"Who's there?!" One of them shouted. Yeah, like I was going to answer…

I threw a smoke bomb down and heard gunshots. I quickly put on my goggles and jumped out of the hole. The firing stopped and I moved quickly, exiting the room. Did they seriously just kill each other? Wow, maybe this wasn't going to be bad at all.

I looked at my blueprints of the base and decided that the biggest room would be where the boss was. As I made my way there, I wasn't met with any more trouble. It was pretty easy just to walk through their base. What kind of hideout was this? When I did finally make it to the biggest room, the boss was sitting there with two whore-ish looking girls on his lap.

"Hello, Matt. We've been waiting for you," he greeted me kindly. "How's your friend?"

With that comment, I swiftly raised my gun at his head level from across the room. The girls giggled on him lap like I wasn't a threat.

"Oh, you don't want to do that—"

"I'm pretty sure I do," I corrected him. He chuckled. God, I hate him.

"Not after you hear the deal I want to—"

I didn't even let him finish his sentence before I shot him in the head. The girls on his lap screamed and scrambled away from him. I blew tranquilizer darts at them so they couldn't call for back up. I placed wall bombs on every wall as I made my way up to the factory part of the hide out.

Mello would probably kill me if he knew that I was about to blow up a chocolate factory…Ugh, losing half of his face and one of the world's biggest chocolate factory in the same week…? Well, what he doesn't know, won't hurt him.

I practically flew out of the factory's doors and pressed the red button on my tracker. That should do it. By the time I make it to the airport, this factory will be ashes. Problem solved.

* * *

"This is L," I heard L say on his end of the phone.

"Hey, I took care of him. I blew up his base too," I informed him. He was silent. He's so frustrating. "Erm…How's Mello?"

"He's awake," he told me in his usually boring voice, like it was the most uninteresting thing in the world!

"What?" I practically screamed.

"Would you like to talk to him?" he asked. I didn't even have time to answer before I heard Mello's voice in the background.

"He better want to talk to me! That asshole left me!" Mello ranted distantly.

"Um…yeah. I'll talk to him…" I said cautiously.

"Matthew," Mello said shortly to me. My name isn't even Matt, let alone Matthew…

"Mells, how are you feeling?" I asked meekly. I already knew that this was going to be a one sided conversation…

"Hmm…Let me see! I just woke up, you weren't here, and I was just told that I was going to have to go the rest of my life looking like the Phantom of the Opera!" he yelled furiously. He was kinda hot when he yelled…kinda. But now wasn't the time to tell him that…

"Look, Mello. I'm going to be pulling up to the hospital in five minutes. Just give me a chance to explain what happened, okay?" I tried to reason. Tried. To reason. With Mello. Yeah…

"You better be here in five minutes or you will have hell to pay!" he grumbled. I could hear his heart monitor next to him go crazy.

"Mells, please. I'll be right there, I promise. I love you, Mello."

"I love you too." With that, he hung up the phone. This was going to be awesome…

I finally pulled up the hospital and I knew better than to walk in, so I ran. When I made it up to Mello's room, L and Light were sitting outside of it.

"How is he?" I asked as I panted. Light shook his head sadly and L just sat there with no expression. I didn't really know what to make of their reaction, so I went in to the room to check on him. I prepared myself for the worst.

But honestly, I didn't really prepare myself for the worst. I prepared myself for him yelling and screaming and throwing a Mello-fit (which is so much worse than a regular fit). I was prepared for him to threaten my life or even break up with me. I was prepared for him to cry or be hysterical…but I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

The nurse looked at me sadly as she covered Mello's body up with a white sheet. I caught a glimpse of his face and his eyes were glassy. I had actually lost him this time. It was real.

"Call it," the nurse said to the doctor. The doctor looked at the clock and back down at his paper.

"Time of death, 2:12 pm on January 5th, 2009," he said solemnly. I'm pretty sure that I was on the floor now, but I couldn't tell you how I got there. I felt the tears roll down my face. I felt my jaw open. I felt the muscles on my face becoming sore from the facial expression I was making. I felt my heart stop beating for a couple of seconds. I felt the blood in my veins boil with sadness and anger.

Here I was again. In this numb limbo of a lost love.

I pulled my gun out of its usual spot and put it to my head…except this time Mello wasn't there to stop me.

* * *

**The end.**

* * *

**A/N: Wow...yeah. Okay so a couple things. Sorry it took me so long to update :( I had a couple of exams to study for and I was in the hospital for a bit and... I know the ending was probably the worst thing I could have done...but here it is. Please review...even if you hate me for this.**


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